Monday, October 24, 2016

Curve - Gift - 2001

Oh, this one brings back such memories, and none of them good.  When this one came out, I was working at literally the worst job I had ever had.  I was a kitchen manager for a steak house, and I was working for a General Manager and a District Manager who were both brutal.  They were the bosses that you would see on an Undercover World's Worst Bosses reality show.  Common names I was called by these managers were dumbshit, stupid fuck, lazy ass and the likes.  They were never ever nice.  I cannot remember them being polite without cutting you to ribbons in the same conversation. 

I also hadn't started my anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds yet.  I didn't know I needed them.  So I would have these anxiety attacks that were blinding and debilitating, while also wanting to cut my own neck.  Sad thing is, I'm not kidding or exaggerating, either.

My wife and I had our first child, and we had just moved back to her home town.  This album came out, and having not cared for Come Clean, I was a little apprehensive about it.  But, having purchased it, and driving to my most hated job, all I could think about was wanting to be back home with my wife and child.  I popped it in the CD player and turned that fucker up as loud as I could.  That CD did not leave my player for about 10 days.  I memorized it.

My favorite tracks are Perish, and the b-side Recovery remix.  I liked all of the tracks, but those two were particularly cathartic for me.  The extra tracks from the other artists that Toni guest-vocalled on I didn't know of at the time, but they fit perfectly with the collection.

It's actually difficult for me to listen to this CD even though I love it, specifically for the emotions, memories and feelings it stirs.  Memories, emotions, and feelings I try my damnedest to keep buried deep.  I hope that one day I can use it in a healing nature, instead of wounding.

3 comments:

  1. I'm sure I have this somewhere on one of my hard drives, but this is so much easier. Many thanks for posting it just when I needed it.

    -Brian

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  2. "I hope that one day I can use it in a healing nature, instead of wounding."

    Dude, I know what you mean - it's like a crutch that you don't need anymore, you're grateful that it was there when you needed it, but you don't want to relive that experience. Glad that it was there for you, and that you don't need it now (or ever again).

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  3. I love this album. It also came to me during difficult times (the fiancee and I had just moved somewhere we didn't want to be just for work), and likewise hearing "Want More Need Less" and "Perish" (my 2 favs on this) stirs up a lot of memories.
    I do like this album. I always felt that the production is far too harsh on it - I don't know for sure if the CD is brickwalled, but it sure as hell sounds like it. Some good songs though, and looking forward to checking out those extra tracks you put on there. Awesome as always, thank you!

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