Monday, October 24, 2016
Curve - Gift - 2001
I also hadn't started my anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds yet. I didn't know I needed them. So I would have these anxiety attacks that were blinding and debilitating, while also wanting to cut my own neck. Sad thing is, I'm not kidding or exaggerating, either.
My wife and I had our first child, and we had just moved back to her home town. This album came out, and having not cared for Come Clean, I was a little apprehensive about it. But, having purchased it, and driving to my most hated job, all I could think about was wanting to be back home with my wife and child. I popped it in the CD player and turned that fucker up as loud as I could. That CD did not leave my player for about 10 days. I memorized it.
My favorite tracks are Perish, and the b-side Recovery remix. I liked all of the tracks, but those two were particularly cathartic for me. The extra tracks from the other artists that Toni guest-vocalled on I didn't know of at the time, but they fit perfectly with the collection.
It's actually difficult for me to listen to this CD even though I love it, specifically for the emotions, memories and feelings it stirs. Memories, emotions, and feelings I try my damnedest to keep buried deep. I hope that one day I can use it in a healing nature, instead of wounding.